I tend to be a very angry person. I lose a lot of bets, and this leads me to say a lot of offensive things. One of my favorite things to say when I lose bets is the “C word”. The C word, if you aren’t aware, is “cunt”. I, being a 23 year old male, do not find the word offensive. One of the reasons I don’t find it offensive is because I don’t think I am a cunt. Some people might tell you otherwise… but in my opinion I am not one. I do however understand that women in particular aren’t the biggest fans of this word. I for one, am not too sure what the word cunt officially means. I also have no interest in knowing what the roots and definition of this word are. As far as I know, the word just means vagina. And vaginas, I happen to be a big fan of. So based of that, I love the word cunt. I don’t go around calling people cunts Willy nilly… but if you miss an empty netter when I need the puck line, so I can eat tomorrow, I feel like I have all the rights to call that player a cunt.
I have found myself in trouble on a number of occasions for using it in public. I’m sure a couple of you reading this aren’t too happy with me saying it right now. But no one will be able to convince me to stop using the word. For instance I was at one of my local bars calling some asshole who cost me money a cunt on tv. I had one lady call me a bad person for using the word cunt… and I verbally agreed with her. She proceeds to leave the bar in disgust… fine by me. I then had a 20 some odd year old kid (male) come up to me and call me an asshole. Again, I agreed with him… I am an asshole and I accept it. After some quick back and forth, he told me he doesn’t like me. To that I said “most people don’t like me and I’m more then ok with that, because I hate most people I meet.” At this point has threatened to fight me. Now I’m not afraid of fights. I’m not a hardo or think I’m cool… but I’m also not looking to go to my job the next day with a potential black eye. It’s just not good for business. I declined the fight and continued to yell at the remainder of my losing bets, coincidentally calling more pro athletes cunts, as I tend to do. The kid again feels the need to follow up with me and remind me that he doesn’t care for me. Again… fine by me! He leaves the bar after calling me by what must be my other nickname now: “Asshole”.
Being that I seem to find myself in this situation more than I like, I need a better reason to be able to use the word cunt other than I like it. After some thought, I have figured it out. The word cunt seems to be well accepted across the pond in England. The toothless tea drinkers who suck down room temperature beer say it ALL THE TIME, and no one even bats an eye. These fucks pop out their moms cunts saying the word cunt. It’s awesome. Now being that we are in a time where people seem to be able to identify as whatever they want, as some of my fellow drunk gamblers have pointed out, I’m going all in. I, Slippy, now identify as British! There it is my fellow cunts. I’m home free. I now can say the word cunt all I want. Cunt this! Cunt you! Cunt cunt cunt! This is a game changer my friends. For all you cunts out there who love this word as much as I do, just go ahead and identify as British. Granted, I think this means that I have to stop brushing my teeth and eat blood pudding (whatever that is). I feel that it’s a small price to pay in order to be able to say the word cunt.
Cheers!