Atlantic City is one hell of a place. It’s more or less Vegas, if it were designed by a group of degenerates with a trash fetish. If it weren’t for the readily available gambling, drugs, and women of the night… the city, much like the rest of the state, could be leveled for all I care. None the less, I typically love this place. It has all of my favorite activities in one location. I was lucky to have a company that is still yet to fire me, (for whatever reason) pay for a hotel in this lovely city, for me and my coworkers. There was a catch though: It was a corporate meeting with all the big wigs in attendance. This is a hard balancing act for drunk gamblers like myself.
From the second I got to the hotel, all I wanted to do was gamble. It’s in my nature to do so. I intently had no interest in sitting though meetings and acting interested in what was going on, other then the games I bet on. After 5 straight hours of meetings I thought I was going to be free to go lose my money. But I was wrong. There was a company dinner at the bar next to the hotel… why the fuck would I want to eat with these people. I have no interest in what these people do outside of work. I don’t do well in small talk situations with people I don’t care for. When we arrived to the bar we were expected to “mingle”. Also, there was corn hole there for us to play. Cool, I guess?
I instantly turned this into company-wide gambling event so I wouldn’t kill myself. Losers buy the drinks… it’s simple. What I also forgot is that I am God awful at corn hole and went on to lose all of the games that I played… my night of losing began. After losing a couple games of corn hole and paying for my poor play, it was time to escape that place like I was a prisoner at Shawshank. I performed my text book Irish exit and hit the tables. I get to the table down two units on sports games and another 50 bucks on other people’s drinks… not a hot start. I’m ready to win so much money at this black jack table that I could quit my job. There would be no other reason to have a company outing in this town if this wasn’t the goal. I then proceeded to lose a paycheck at the black jack table… fuck me. So I now have just been chewed up and spit out of AC just like every other time I’ve been to this flaming trash heap.
Now it’s the evening and I’m laying in the hotel bed, probably littered with bed bugs and other people’s cum… drunk, poor, and dreading the last set of meetings in the morning. It dawns on me, this is what the satanical company wants! They take all the employees and stick them in a place designed to make people need more money! I have to tip my cap to them. This is why they make the big bucks. If they take all the employees and send them to a casino, those flashing lights are gonna draw in the old people and new gamblers, all the other degenerates like myself are going to our wheel houses to lose our money like usual. This ensures that we all will have to work harder to pay off our losses. This, no matter how smart of a business decision it is, should be illegal. You are putting people like myself at risk to sell the tires off my company car in order to play a couple more hands of Black Jack. So if you’re the owner of a business and need to make your sales force sell more… send them to AC. If you’re an employee and you’re company is offering to pay for a trip to AC… look up the nearest chop shops before you get there it’ll save you some time.