How is the “roadkill guy” not the worst job ever!?
**disclaimer: we are a pay for play site. DM us for ad space, all misspelling and grammar issues are not on purpose (except business names), I just don’t care enough to change it.
I have heard many people say that they have the worst job. Some are because of the insufferable humans that people work with; like the manager who says “Have a blessed day” instead of see you later, or maybe you have the whore that’s in the cube next to you who’s cooter smells like she just fucked the road kill guy. This brings me to the question that has troubled me for no more than the length of time it’s taking me to write this… because I have the answer.
Humans aren’t the only things that gamble, animals are known to do it as well. From your casual grey squirrel that get smoked by a teen driver who just posted a picture of her tits touching her chin, or a deer that explodes on impact from some red neck driving an f-150, these animals took gambles and lost. This brings me to my real concern: Is the roadkill guy the worst job of all time? After exploring this thought I’ve only muddied the waters more for myself. This HAS to be the worst job of all time right?! Some poor guy has to drive around cleaning off the road like a grill, because Janet couldn’t get out of the way of some poor raccoon with depth perception issues. Or better yet, Billy the roadkill guy is forced to walk up and down the road looking for all the pieces of that moose who died the other day from a semi, which sent that moose’s legs further than a Justin Tucker field goal. That sounds AWFUL. But upon further review, I think these sickos love to be the road kill guy. There is a select breed of Wallmart shoppers that actively seeks out this job. This isn’t a job that most people even know how to apply for, I don’t think it’s on zipped recruiter, or even in the paper at least. The guy who elects to work in the “roadkill industry” either eats these poor animals, or fucks those dead squirrels like a pocket pussy with a bush. This is what makes me think that the people signing up for this job actually love to go to work. If I got a free meal and laid for my job I’d love it to.
The fact of the matter is I like alive human women to have sex with, and do not want road cooked meats for my meals. So, road kill guy isn’t for me, but who am I to judge.
Road kill guy isn’t the worst job ever…
the worst job ever is an alter boy for obvious reasons. That is all.