Going into work everyday brings a sense of stability with benefits and consistent income. I like to make things a lot more difficult for myself, so I figured why not work exclusively part time jobs? This only causes a 7 day work week, which originally I overlooked. Really avoids the Groundhog Day phenomena. Shifts in the morning and evening every day can get a little a ridiculous… it was time to make some room in my schedule for my new part time job, getting this website off of the ground.
“2 weeks notice” is absolutely bogus. As far as I’m concerned, I gave 6 months notice by not giving a fuck. Why would a company want you to come back into work for 14 days after quitting? It has to be the worst theory of all time. First off, how much is this person really going to accomplish while knowing they are about to leave. That’s like trusting a person with your life after they told you they hate you. God forbid you have a surgeon who put in his letter 13 days ago. The big excuse is “we need time to find your replacement”. Literally nobody doing my job would be better for them, than me staying for another 70 hours and staring at a computer in a cubicle, I’d be more useless than a condom for a catholic.
Yes, this is the place where I snuck out of the baby shower (Read the “Skipping Shit” Blog). Instead of going into work and having a meeting with my boss to explain myself and my departure in a fortnight… I placed a phone call on a Monday night. My pre-packaged excuse covered all my bases, per usual. I said my part time corporate gig offered me a full time position, and I had to clear it up with you first. Who would say no? Some sort of sicko probably. She said I had to come in and return my badge… did I stutter? I have a full time job now. I don’t have time to be dropping off badges. I just said sure, I’ll see if I can make room in my schedule, so far I haven’t been able to make much time! I’m very much considering sending it back in the mail, it’ll show the company I’m savvy and old school.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays are now the new weekend for me. Which is an upgrade because I was living with no weekends for a while, one of the few things that me and city hooker have on common. What does this mean? It means I’m an idiot. What asshole re-arranges the workweek to go against the status quo? It’s more of an exercise than anything. I’m the closest thing God at this point, the inventor of the days. Everyone should get on board with me. When you buy stocks, do you put all of your eggs in one basket? Definitely not… you have to put chips on as many numbers as possible, this way when one loses, you still are getting paid. The biggest perk of this system so far has been being able to quit something that made me miserable… I now have 48 more hours a week to do as I please, and in the process found a funny way to dance around putting in 2 weeks notice.